There are days when everything in life feels overwhelmingly frustrating. For me, this feeling typically arises when I find myself in situations beyond my understanding and control.
One sure fire sign of my struggle is the inability to drag myself out of the bed in the morning– as if my body is reaching out, begging for help, asking me to interject, signaling that something is wrong and I NEED to fix it, before it can function properly.
Such days are never fun, but they are super critical mind you! We may choose to ignore them for a while, but nobody can keep sweeping dead mice under the couch forever. You may hide them for some time, but the rot will stink the house fast. And before you know it, the stench becomes unbearable and the house becomes uninhabitable. Similarly, before the mental strain wreaks havoc on our physical health, it’s crucial to acknowledge and address the issue asap. Now, I’m not saying that all physical ailments stem solely from psychological issues, but it’s definitely a contributing factor and one that may not be easily diagnosed.
Acknowledgment is the first and the most difficult step in resolving any issue. It’s like the perfect politician’s plan: If you don’t acknowledge a problem, you don’t have to solve it.
To better equip myself for handling these tough days and to avoid such situations altogether, I have started being more mindful about my daily activities. This is where journaling helps me a lot. This allows me to step back from my day, analyze my thoughts and assess my feelings throughout the day. Some days are frustrating, some are just unproductive, some exciting and fulfilling, and then there are days that are productive, but still feel terrible. Reflecting on all these permutations helps me build context around my feelings, which I otherwise tend to ignore more often that I’d like.
At the end of every day, I reflect. Nothing too complex, just 3 simple questions:
- What did I do or happen today?
- How did it make me feel?
- Why?
I don’t even try to memorize everything. My brain often automatically flags the most pressing issues first, allowing all the negative emotions accumulated over the day, to pour out.
However, there are a few observations or “best practices” that I have discovered, which might make journaling even more beneficial if you decide to embark on it:
Being Intentional
Remember, you are not just capturing events, you are reflecting on your day. Avoid mere factual statements like “I had coffee with friends.”. Instead, focus on how you felt, or better yet, recall your conversations, what you discussed and capture how those affected you.
Silence is Golden
You need silence to let your mind speak up.
Create a quite spacetime for yourself. Avoid distractions. Journaling hardly takes 15-30 minutes, so finding time should not be too hard. But forming habits is not easy– I’ve skipped days myself. Keeping a notebook on your bedside table or your office desk, and journaling first thing before starting work or just before sleeping, can help. Just find a quiet space, make the time and go for it!
Open The Taps
If unrelated thoughts come to mind while journaling, write those down too!
Forgot to wish a friend on their birthday? Write that down.
Remembered an urgent task? Write that down too.
Want to get back to writing? Absolutely write that down.
It’s your brain figuring out stuff, highlighting things that matter, now that it’s finally gotten some time to reflect. This practice will enhance your mindfulness and intention regarding your priorities.
There are positive feelings too!
My brain prioritizes negative feelings or people over good ones. Here’s your nudge to be inclusive! Try to find good things in an otherwise bad day. Adding these prompts when you are journaling might help:
- One thing I want to remember from today is….
- What am I thankful for?
These prompts foster positive and grounding emotions, which we might easily overlook.
On Tough Days…
This is perhaps the most important realization I have had. On days when I feel particularly low, (the kind of days I mentioned in the beginning) there are often things that happen in the preceding day(s) that are bothering me. On those days, I read through the last couple of days’ entries to figure out what went wrong or what I could have done differently. This reflection is where much of the growth happens. Once we know what caused the mental stress, we can start tackling the problem.
You don’t want to build a dam, where a bridge is needed.
Remember, we can’t find a solution without first understanding the problem. After all you don’t want to build a dam, where a bridge is needed. Journaling has been immensely helpful by allowing me to acknowledge my feelings and thus being more mindful of the things I want to prioritize for my mental health.